24 August 2010 by Noah Gray, posted in Uncategorized

  1. Start by scaring people about some digital stuff.
  2. Then, over-hype some animal behavioral experiments that are difficult to translate to humans.
  3. Immediately lower to a simmer and confuse the reader by leaping to an actual human psychology experiment that is completely unrelated to the animal experiments in the previous paragraph (but don’t worry, your readers won’t notice because YOU NEVER DESCRIBED THE SPECIFIC ANIMAL EXPERIMENTS ANYWAY!!! SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE?? GREAT!!)
  4. Fill in lots of personal anecdotal accounts of how having kids and working a job involves multi-tasking and then talk about how we are slaves to computers or- -oh whatever, you can do anything here just as long as you don’t talk about any experiments.
  5. End the piece by really making your readers feel bad by quoting someone who is clearly above this trivial, ridiculous digital fray and has his/her life together through some sort of tree-gazing technique.
  6. Tweet to thousands of followers and watch the hits roll in!!

Looking for an example? Try here.


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